Tiny Pieces of Paper

This is a picture of my baby dog Henry who I had to give up for adoption. My photo is called "Henry and the Daffodils". It is one of my favourite photos.

I have spent the whole day sorting through the various piles of tiny pieces of paper that were my 'lists'....over the last few months. The latest ones are the hardest and have the most emotional impact. One forgets how everything unfolded...or at least I had more or less forgotten the 'details'.

I know I am just in a 'holding pattern'...but sometimes I don't want to acknowledge that....I keep hoping that perhaps something could come of this new situation that will be more satisfying. I doubt that anything though will be able to replace the contentment and joy I felt inside in my own house. This was in spite of all the conflict that occurred with values and concepts of living that Jim imposed. I still was very content...waaaaaay down inside. Those last days with Henry also...when I knew it was going to end....trying to soak in as much of the feeling as I could.

I will keep plodding on. Guess I need to go an 'practice'...meditate...whatever....since this all seems to be getting to me.