I have just come back from a walk around the block. It takes about half and hour. I will try to build up my stamina. This evening I finally got to sorting out the small pile of papers that had been in the plastic container marked 'studio mail' which I am now using for office supplies and the like....(only I forget that that is where I have put them sometimes).
I came across many little notes about the time I had the opportunity to become a 'volunteer' at SYMPIA...in 2000 when they had that employment initiative. It makes me feel very disappointed in myself. I have names and phone numbers and little notes on suggestions from various people. Most are very informative and good ideas. I was not able to follow through with them for some reason...mostly probably the people forgot to tell me that 'if I did this'..."maybe this would happen'...or 'probably this would open up'....as most NT's (sorry to use the term but it applies in this situation)...most would know exactly 'what was coming down the pipe' as the saying goes...and act accordingly...to optimize their opportunities.
But not me. No, I continued to putz around in the shed at the back of my yard...that I called the studio....in the ridiculous hope that what was obvious...(the declining markets, the new, younger, and greater competition, the lack of physical assistance)...would be able to be overcome by my creativity and imagination...even a little bit. Rather than make what seemed like the gerganuan effort to move sideways into a potentially lucrative but at that time shaky 'new beginning'.
I have come across a list from the Fall of 1999 that I created in order that I would not forget all the help I got from a lot of people to create the studio in the first place. My desires over-riding any common sense it would seem. The following people helped me make the move from the huge space on 8th Avenue to the little old grain shed (or whatever it was) in my back yard: Mario and Guy Mastrangelo
Jason Arkell
Mick Burrs AKA Steven Michael Berzensky (now of Toronto)
Ross Taylor
Bob Willis
Gerald Morton (whose casserole I used the other day to cook the roast beef and vegetables)
Rick (Lomas I assume, but I did not write that down)
Kelvin Turner
Dallas Turner
Bernard Moe (he is Ben's son from Halifax who was the city planner there)
Ardelle Hunt (Ben's daughter who is no longer living)
Kyle
Jack Drummond
Thanks to all of you. Time moves on I guess. Seven years later....things are getting smaller again. I now have this little table 2 feet by 2 feet on which I still have to create something that I would like to save.
On another scrap of paper I found the following quotation:
" Just like a potter sees the possibility of a pot in clay.....so does a master see the possibility of endless joy in a student"
--Maharaji
Also this evening in the pile of tiny pieces of paper I found:
RULES FOR BEING HUMAN
1. You will receive a body. You will like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the
opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The 'failed' experiments are
as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately 'works'.
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you
have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons
to be learned.
6. "There" is no better than "here". When your "there" has become a "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that will,
again, look better than "here".
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you
something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to
you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.
--Anonymous
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