Words

6:30am

Two days ago there was a massive misunderstanding around the use of words and numbers at work. I am hoping there will not be any more 'fall-out' from it. There were also, 'words', between myself and another worker there. I did not take any of it to be a problem until I arrived yesterday at work and was told someone was upset at me. I can see that the root cause of the conflict though, was about changes in expectations, routines and agendas, and perseveration. This latter word also has a dual meaning depending upon the reference point.

Most of it was my fault. And it turned out that, in the end, because of my perseveration, I totally messed up the packaging of one of the items. Nothing that would cost anyone any money....except yesterday was an even more nuts day because the person was sick and they already have us stretched to any human limit in terms of pace and expectations of task accomplishment. In other words they are short staffed to begin with. The reason I messed up the packaging though was because of fancy-footwork in the laying out of the item involved. It was not the way I remembered it being taught and did not jive with my visual reference.

So I went along with the reference as I knew it, not realizing there was another element that one couldn't reference visually. I know I had been told by this person how they did it before but I did not remember. And it was close to the end of my 8 hours and I had been going flat out for that period of time, and so really couldn't process any information that was not on automatic pilot.

The other mistake, if it was one, since I was doing the baking yesterday and so I felt I was just finishing-up, but the other thing I did not do which had been done before...was to switch roles so that person could be at the front....and then I go do stuff at the back. I don't really care actually which is which. I am willing to switch. But that day, I was totally IN THE ZONE so to speak...and the baking was going very smoothly....And I suppose I was proud of the fact that it had gone so well. (Not that it could be repeated like that every day). But I kind of wanted to continue in that mode. But on another level, it was PERSEVERATION. When I got home yesterday I could see that.

The point is none of this is really of any importance in the gist of things in terms of job performance, except that people hold these things against you.

And this is where the Asperger's issues come into play as causing 'issues'. And I really like this person so it would be such a shame for something silly like this to come between us.

I wanted to discuss also the different use of words in the context of the two areas of interest for me just now: Asperger's and "Recovery". I find this very interesting that the same 'words' are used in both areas. Eg. Perseveration vs. Perseverance, or Incongruence vs. Inconguity, or 'devil' (used in a slang way on www.wrongplanet) vs. 'bedevilment' (used to mean lack of control over substance-abuse) and other examples which I will remember at some point.

I find this interesting because I feel that somehow the scientists are going to find, and perhaps soon, how all of these 'brain issues' are caused by faulty wiring in the emotional area of the brain. (Is that Area 25 I think?). And that they are all related (ADD, Asperger's, so-called 'Recovery'). They have all been given different meanings by different "groups' or references, but all refer to the same deficit. And the deficit causes the same emotional response and therefore the same problem with 'cravings' regardless of how you define the use of the words.

BUT one last note on all this discussion about words....because really, the bottom line is the solution. And the bottom line has to be THE HEART. So all this discussion is just that: duality of the mind vs. the singularity and simplicity of the heart. These conflicts can be happening, but with Knowledge, you have the option to 'opt out' so to speak...an go inside.

And the interesting thing about it is: these 'communities' (in literature, for example, say St. Exupery) recognize this conclusion (that I mention above), as being the solution. I guess being an Asperger person you always want to know why as well. I guess that is why I am interested in this contrast and compare exercise.