Well...I had HOPED to 'deck the halls'. I had volunteered to HELP 'deck the halls'. I definately WANTED to 'deck the halls'. But the only one who got 'decked', it looks like, was me. 'Decked' in the modern colloquial meaning of the word. Meaning I was totally laid flat...emotionally and physically...by demands from a job that does not even fulfill my needs. I missed out on any meagre Christmas activities in my own building that would add to any possible enjoyment of this time of year. I missed out on an opportunity to demonstrate some 'social' desire to 'bond'. Everyone else is interacting and 'friendshipping'....except me...who has no one as usual.
So I am the only one who was DECKED.
I have been driven beyond the pale of human expectations, and certainly beyond what most people even at that job are expected to 'put out'.
I am not part of the leather crowd, after all. I do not enjoy pain....or convert it into some warped pleasure.
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