Out of Step

Today, at work, I feel I really did a great job. I feel I organized the bread and got it in the oven, packed, etc...with stuff in the proofer really really well. I could really concentrate this morning. It is a lot like firing the kiln with many things to take into account and reassess as you go. So I was also really really busy for about three and a half hours....and then I got a breather.

But all the time, even though I was enjoying myself and what I was doing, there was this nagging concern in the back of my mind that all was not well. I feel I have not been able to pick up on the appropriate ways of interacting, talking, eye contacting with some of the other staff. Not all was wrong though...because maybe it is ok from another perspective. Some of the conversations and interactions seemed to be for my benefit.

But certain comments make me realize that I am not saying things in the manner that is expected and/or they want some sort of reaction from me that I am not sure what it is. For instance, I think I blundered on the last day I was working, Monday. (And I have been so happy to have the whole three days off in a row this week). But I think my comments on what I saw as being a helpful thing have not been taken well.

I know from the article "The Secrets of Successful Smalltalk" by GroovyDruid on the wrongplanet site that 90percent of what is being said is NOT about the words. That mostly people are "scoping you out" and that there are certain ways of looking at people that say MUCH. The person I worked with today has that down very very well I have noticed. I, unfortunately, can't seem to do it like I used to be able to do it...talk I mean...or do the right body language...in a way that ingratiates people so they like you. That is a big disappointment to me.