4:07pm
Gentle = Strong
Humble = Rich
Simple = Smart
Unfortunately, (as they say in the call centre lingo) all of that desire to follow the best path, can go out the window when faced with a caller (real...or fake as in this case)...when a caller is mean-spirited, rude and obnoxious...as one was today...just because they have the power to be mean-spirited, rude and obnoxious. And hurtful as it was, I stooped to defending myself with an outburst.
And then they come and poison the well..which only confirmed my suspicions about the source.
If this sounds too cryptic to you...well!...you go figure it out. Pardon me for noticing.
Monday, September 22, 2008
What a Difference Art Makes
September 19, 2008 (Friday)
5:25pm
What a respite.
What an island.
What a sanctuary.
What a difference.
What a blessing art is.
I just dropped by the Gallery after work tonight so that I could register for a workshop that is offered. I could cry because I am so grateful for infusion of peace and beauty. What a wonderful artist is Wendy Peart. What a wonderful exhibition. How well done in its conception and understanding, is the art.
How much I miss the enjoyment, fulfillment and sense of purpose art provides to a person.
9:45pm
I see people have been mucking about in my computer again. I really don't care anymore. I can't do anything about their morals. Obviously they are just into controlling for the sake of it and for their own gain. But what can do about that even.
I have had a very rough day today. I had a lot of 'new' learning opportunities to take care of....and sure, very slow. There are also a lot of 'computer' issues also...on top of my slowness, The two together make for a lot. I know that I can get very good though, given time. Time is of the essence....(as they say). In more ways than anyone knows.
11:28pm
I have been trying to sleep for the past hour. Can't shut off my brain. Very exhausted. Worried about everything...and nothing here to soothe anything. Not a person who cares. Not a dog to love. Worried about my mother. Knowing she is probably going through the same thing. Very worried about the job. Anxiety thinking about it really. Mistakenly didn't sign off at closing time and got a call. (or maybe not mistakenly as the case may be). It was an issue I had not dealt with since class perhaps. One has to get the dates correct also or the programme won't accept changes. had to find help when all of my own team had gone home already. And there are protocols to follow, obviously, because people were avoiding me.
And I don't know what the protocols are. Need an advocate. I am considering asking someone at ARC.
Midnight
Finally I looked on the website Mspeaks and downloaded the webcast. And took a tylenol, and finally got a really good sleep.
5:25pm
What a respite.
What an island.
What a sanctuary.
What a difference.
What a blessing art is.
I just dropped by the Gallery after work tonight so that I could register for a workshop that is offered. I could cry because I am so grateful for infusion of peace and beauty. What a wonderful artist is Wendy Peart. What a wonderful exhibition. How well done in its conception and understanding, is the art.
How much I miss the enjoyment, fulfillment and sense of purpose art provides to a person.
9:45pm
I see people have been mucking about in my computer again. I really don't care anymore. I can't do anything about their morals. Obviously they are just into controlling for the sake of it and for their own gain. But what can do about that even.
I have had a very rough day today. I had a lot of 'new' learning opportunities to take care of....and sure, very slow. There are also a lot of 'computer' issues also...on top of my slowness, The two together make for a lot. I know that I can get very good though, given time. Time is of the essence....(as they say). In more ways than anyone knows.
11:28pm
I have been trying to sleep for the past hour. Can't shut off my brain. Very exhausted. Worried about everything...and nothing here to soothe anything. Not a person who cares. Not a dog to love. Worried about my mother. Knowing she is probably going through the same thing. Very worried about the job. Anxiety thinking about it really. Mistakenly didn't sign off at closing time and got a call. (or maybe not mistakenly as the case may be). It was an issue I had not dealt with since class perhaps. One has to get the dates correct also or the programme won't accept changes. had to find help when all of my own team had gone home already. And there are protocols to follow, obviously, because people were avoiding me.
And I don't know what the protocols are. Need an advocate. I am considering asking someone at ARC.
Midnight
Finally I looked on the website Mspeaks and downloaded the webcast. And took a tylenol, and finally got a really good sleep.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Acknowledgment-Always: from September 4, 2008
September 4, 2008 (thurs.)
8:30am
Well...today is not like yesterday. That often happens. They want me to be ‘pumped’ at work. I definately appreciate the assistance and encouragement I have been having from various people. Yesterday was a ‘god-send’, quite literally. I always disappoint myself, and I suppose everyone else, by not responding in the expected and appropriate manner, as defined by the culture. And so today I feel let-down and perhaps a little guilty....for not seeing the whole picture, in a timely and acknowledging manner.
In fact, today I am totally exhausted again, because after being ‘somewhat’ pumped, one is unable to wind-down and get to bed at an appropriate hour. This, in spite of listening to the newly created web-cast of the event on Sunday from Thousand Oaks. Prem Rawat was so wonderful, as usual. He talked about everything that is happening in my own life...right now. All my concerns. All my worries.
You see....he ACKNOWLEDGES what is true. ALWAYS.
AND...as usual....he brings the focus back to where it needs to be....to the only solution....the only solace....the only place to go, basically. Because, as he says...how kind is someone...and he is not referring to himself (as some people often think)...but how kind is someone to ‘just leave notes’ to remind us of the ‘rocks ahead’....to remind us of ‘the ditches ahead’. Just notes. That someone does not take them away...but just leaves ‘notes’.
And the reason, people who have received the Knowledge that Prem Rawat offers, appreciate and come to love him so much...is that nowhere else in this whole world...is there anyone who is capable (and capable being defined as being able to deliver what is promised)...and continues to give so much of himself to remind all that will listen....of what life is truely about.
And yesterday, I, myself, experienced all that I needed to experience...for my own well-being. And thank you to all for your efforts.
The other side of the ‘coin’ will be discussed at a later time....I suppose. My observations around the rest of his talk and my own observations as they apply to my own life....well, I am a little afraid to mention them here. Now. How about that? It is that bullying element again. That ‘recovery’ element again. And....ooopps ...there I go again. So I will stop. Right now.
Having AS...it is very very difficult....not to tell the truth. That is a documented trait of having AS. It is part of the vulnerablity encompassed in the syndrome. Like last week when it was obvious that lies were coming out of everyones mouths. Everywhere I looked. Unlike on the Webcast...where coloured processing rings seemed to pop up in particular areas of the webcast, most appropriately...perhaps intentionally by the people who made it all happen...or not. At any rate, I, myself, totally appreciated that element. I am sure I am not the only one who did.
8:30am
Well...today is not like yesterday. That often happens. They want me to be ‘pumped’ at work. I definately appreciate the assistance and encouragement I have been having from various people. Yesterday was a ‘god-send’, quite literally. I always disappoint myself, and I suppose everyone else, by not responding in the expected and appropriate manner, as defined by the culture. And so today I feel let-down and perhaps a little guilty....for not seeing the whole picture, in a timely and acknowledging manner.
In fact, today I am totally exhausted again, because after being ‘somewhat’ pumped, one is unable to wind-down and get to bed at an appropriate hour. This, in spite of listening to the newly created web-cast of the event on Sunday from Thousand Oaks. Prem Rawat was so wonderful, as usual. He talked about everything that is happening in my own life...right now. All my concerns. All my worries.
You see....he ACKNOWLEDGES what is true. ALWAYS.
AND...as usual....he brings the focus back to where it needs to be....to the only solution....the only solace....the only place to go, basically. Because, as he says...how kind is someone...and he is not referring to himself (as some people often think)...but how kind is someone to ‘just leave notes’ to remind us of the ‘rocks ahead’....to remind us of ‘the ditches ahead’. Just notes. That someone does not take them away...but just leaves ‘notes’.
And the reason, people who have received the Knowledge that Prem Rawat offers, appreciate and come to love him so much...is that nowhere else in this whole world...is there anyone who is capable (and capable being defined as being able to deliver what is promised)...and continues to give so much of himself to remind all that will listen....of what life is truely about.
And yesterday, I, myself, experienced all that I needed to experience...for my own well-being. And thank you to all for your efforts.
The other side of the ‘coin’ will be discussed at a later time....I suppose. My observations around the rest of his talk and my own observations as they apply to my own life....well, I am a little afraid to mention them here. Now. How about that? It is that bullying element again. That ‘recovery’ element again. And....ooopps ...there I go again. So I will stop. Right now.
Having AS...it is very very difficult....not to tell the truth. That is a documented trait of having AS. It is part of the vulnerablity encompassed in the syndrome. Like last week when it was obvious that lies were coming out of everyones mouths. Everywhere I looked. Unlike on the Webcast...where coloured processing rings seemed to pop up in particular areas of the webcast, most appropriately...perhaps intentionally by the people who made it all happen...or not. At any rate, I, myself, totally appreciated that element. I am sure I am not the only one who did.
Great Day: from September 3, 2008
September 3, 2008 (Wed)
9:00pm (or there abouts)
This has been a great day!! I think I should enter that fact in my blog..Which I might as a matter of fact. I just LOVE my new ‘toy’. I have never really had a ‘toy’, like so many people.
It surpasses any expectations I had for it.!!!!
I would have to say....and this is going to be “something” coming from me, I know....that I am even having a little ‘fun’ with it....even in my restricted use of it. (Restricted because of ‘issues’ that need resolving.) I can see that this is going to revolutionize ‘computing’.
My only reservation is that perhaps I should have stayed with my original purchase, but we will see.
For a long time now, I have been commenting about how this present time that we live in, is not different from about 200 years ago...in ‘social’ terms I mean. I have noticed how nothing much has changed, if you read history and look at the early part of the ‘Industrial Revolution’ in the 19th Century. I have often felt an empathy for the weavers and factory workers in what was then referred to as the British Isles. When I was in my 20’s I used to wonder how those young women (and often much older) worked those awful long hours shackled to the whims of the owners. I have often looked at those old photos, taken later in the 19th and early part of the 20th Century, of the ‘girls’ who ‘manned’ the ‘telephone exchanges’ and wondered about their lives and if they were ‘happy’.
Someone on TV was ‘debating’...oh yeah...it was the Chief Research Officer from Microsoft yet!.....about his take on the ‘Information Revolution’...stating it didn’t exist. I sort of lost him about three quarters of the way through because he was not coming to a point. But I also noticed that he is a ‘divergent thinker’...just like me.....and probably has AS too.....so I found that quite amusing. But anyway my point is that socially and economically things are totally the same. The form has just changed.
And....I was thinking yesterday...(unlike today when I was enjoying my day and only had a few moments to digress into such topics....that Bill Gates might be likened to Dale Carnegie, especially now that he is devoting his time to his Foundation...and the Steve Jobs...will be likened (when the future generations, if we get that far and look back at this time)...that he might be likened to Nelson Rockerfeller....or Henry Ford...in the impact they will have, over their lifetimes on our collective cultures in this world.
...and the bottom line of all of this is that, inside us all, is the capacity to enjoy our lives and that the new inventions and changes on the outside have no bearing on that, or only momentarily...and that the gift of life given to us by the ultimate creator.... shines through all things. We only need to enjoy.
9:00pm (or there abouts)
This has been a great day!! I think I should enter that fact in my blog..Which I might as a matter of fact. I just LOVE my new ‘toy’. I have never really had a ‘toy’, like so many people.
It surpasses any expectations I had for it.!!!!
I would have to say....and this is going to be “something” coming from me, I know....that I am even having a little ‘fun’ with it....even in my restricted use of it. (Restricted because of ‘issues’ that need resolving.) I can see that this is going to revolutionize ‘computing’.
My only reservation is that perhaps I should have stayed with my original purchase, but we will see.
For a long time now, I have been commenting about how this present time that we live in, is not different from about 200 years ago...in ‘social’ terms I mean. I have noticed how nothing much has changed, if you read history and look at the early part of the ‘Industrial Revolution’ in the 19th Century. I have often felt an empathy for the weavers and factory workers in what was then referred to as the British Isles. When I was in my 20’s I used to wonder how those young women (and often much older) worked those awful long hours shackled to the whims of the owners. I have often looked at those old photos, taken later in the 19th and early part of the 20th Century, of the ‘girls’ who ‘manned’ the ‘telephone exchanges’ and wondered about their lives and if they were ‘happy’.
Someone on TV was ‘debating’...oh yeah...it was the Chief Research Officer from Microsoft yet!.....about his take on the ‘Information Revolution’...stating it didn’t exist. I sort of lost him about three quarters of the way through because he was not coming to a point. But I also noticed that he is a ‘divergent thinker’...just like me.....and probably has AS too.....so I found that quite amusing. But anyway my point is that socially and economically things are totally the same. The form has just changed.
And....I was thinking yesterday...(unlike today when I was enjoying my day and only had a few moments to digress into such topics....that Bill Gates might be likened to Dale Carnegie, especially now that he is devoting his time to his Foundation...and the Steve Jobs...will be likened (when the future generations, if we get that far and look back at this time)...that he might be likened to Nelson Rockerfeller....or Henry Ford...in the impact they will have, over their lifetimes on our collective cultures in this world.
...and the bottom line of all of this is that, inside us all, is the capacity to enjoy our lives and that the new inventions and changes on the outside have no bearing on that, or only momentarily...and that the gift of life given to us by the ultimate creator.... shines through all things. We only need to enjoy.
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