Poisoning the Well

This is the name of a facet of 'logic' that refers to those people (or certain arguments in logic) who would destroy a person's chances of success (in any interaction or event) by lying or implying a lie, before that person has a chance to present their own case or before that person meets another and has the chance for a clean, fresh, honest first impression. And we all know how important 'foist impressions' are for most block heads.

So anyway this is just part of a total rant I WANTED to get into this morning and have wanted to 'express' for quite some time now. There are many many 'issues' that are still unresolved as far as I am concerned. Just because I have not been 'discussing' them, with anyone personally or here in print, does not mean they have gone away for me. I did write down the topics this morning at work in the moment of clarity that I was TOTALLY grateful for. I always have to do that as there are so many many 'topic' that assail me in a day. And when there are things unresolved it just clogs up the works.

AND......because I got zero sleep last night, because of a certain person's energy being directed in my direction last night...then...well lets just say it was a day 'to get through'...and just.

I am so, so pissed off at these people who are 'monitoring' my phone. I am so, so pissed off at all these fuckers who think they are 'do-gooders' who are interferring in my life. Mostly when I think of this latter statement I am referring to a potential new 'friendship' that has been scuttled totally because all of the fucks at work are at the back door, got their nose in my business and think I should be happy about it. It reminds me of something Jim told me when we first 'hooked up' as that perverted saying goes. He said if you are 'in the pool, everyone can see you'. 'If you are not, they can't'. 'Which pool?' would be my question. But someone made a reference to this new person...to me...and so I now know they have asked her about me and know I talked to her and so are interferring in my life. As usual. All done in the name of 'doing good' mind you. Or maybe not. Either way they are making me puke.

And the sad part is, they are all blind...being at the back door. The one tiny moment of TRUTH came when one of the people from this building asked me about my car and where I have moved it and why it was there. She approved. And I knew why she approved. And I appreciate her for knowing that.

And all this crap, which I may or may not get into here...( and possibly won't)...has only been put on hold because there is one thing that Prem Rawat (Maharjai) said that is the only saving grace in all of this...otherwise I would be blasting everyone. He said: Don't do anything to hurt propogation. And so I am trying my hardest not to get angry at all these people. I am trying to have faith in the outcome even though I'm being 'played' and lied to...even though I am being denegraded and bullied...even though I am being made fun of and 'mean girled'. I will try not to respond.

All because I want my teacher and the shower of that place in side of me to not be embarrassed of me. Not that he knows about me since I am only one in millions. But I know how much he wants as many people as are interested to know about what he has to offer. And so I do not want to 'hurt' that possiblity.

So it is only for that reason. And I try to remember that on a daily basis. And I am grateful also for this option. And I am grateful for the memory of this moment of TRUTH...since even though it was only a moment...it was a moment of clarity and makes all the other crap that I had to wade through...well...it puts it in perspective doesn't it.

After all. It is the only thing that is of any importance. So all you asses who think you can 'find out' some little tidbit of nothing from my conversations or feel you know me from my interactions...you are only reflecting your own FEARS AND IGNORANCE.

I hope you enjoy all your listening devices and other moronic 'toys'. Personally I like the conduit that leads to life, understanding and true love, (as opposed to cartoon illusion and back-door bull).